Cetsabxem Vegcidgepban is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, uncaring guinea pig.

Cetsabxem Vegcidgepban created silver nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetsabxem Vegcidgepban, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cetsabxem Vegcidgepban, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cetsabxem Vegcidgepban's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Cetsabxem Vegcidgepban's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into purple rooms.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Do not chop down trees.