Mapyarlquim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, contented hamster.

Mapyarlquim created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapyarlquim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Mapyarlquim, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Mapyarlquim's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Mapyarlquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Feed all hungry otters.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.