Omtvanbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, kind tortoise.

Omtvanbonk created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtvanbonk, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtvanbonk, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Omtvanbonk's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Omtvanbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not hurt seals.

5. Never talk about stars.