Fabzod is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, stupid clam.

Fabzod created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabzod, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fabzod, it will turn you into a mouse.

Fabzod's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Fabzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Fabzod must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Fabzod loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Retreat if nine tapirs approach from the west.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.