Bissjiptan is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, vain ant.

Bissjiptan created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissjiptan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bissjiptan, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bissjiptan's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bissjiptan's Holy Commandments

1. Bissjiptan loves ducks, so they must be respected.

2. Never bounce in the presence of sharks.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.