Fettabfad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, flying gnu.

Fettabfad created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fettabfad, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Fettabfad, he will turn you into a duck.

Fettabfad's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Fettabfad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about grapes.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

5. Never talk about sheep.