Japcussbarngeb is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sapient coyote.

Japcussbarngeb created the Sunflower Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Japcussbarngeb, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Japcussbarngeb, he will be mildly annoyed.

Japcussbarngeb's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Japcussbarngeb's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Japcussbarngeb.

2. Never talk about porpoises.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Japcussbarngeb on top of all buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Japcussbarngeb.