Canrillnar is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, thoughtless fish.

Canrillnar created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Canrillnar, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Canrillnar, it will turn you into a snail.

Canrillnar's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Canrillnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Canrillnar.

4. Always look after injured cats.

5. Always pray immersed in water.