Yattfombem is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, all-knowing capybara.

Yattfombem created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattfombem, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yattfombem, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yattfombem's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Yattfombem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine dogs approach from the north.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Always obey Yattfombem's priests.

5. Never write about black holes.