Rilquaffoss is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, stupid raven.

Rilquaffoss created the planet Mars three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilquaffoss, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rilquaffoss, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Rilquaffoss' most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Rilquaffoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Retreat if four swans approach from the south.

4. Put Rilquaffoss first in all things.

5. Always stare at clouds.