Ortgonarf is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, almighty pigeon.

Ortgonarf created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortgonarf, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ortgonarf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Ortgonarf's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Ortgonarf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.