Cunpignulljan Fagliklop is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, witless shark.

Cunpignulljan Fagliklop created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cunpignulljan Fagliklop, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cunpignulljan Fagliklop, she will make you grow a tail.

Cunpignulljan Fagliklop's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Cunpignulljan Fagliklop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

2. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always take life seriously.