Kartomquam is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witless pig.

Kartomquam created the Andromeda Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kartomquam, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kartomquam, he will be mildly annoyed.

Kartomquam's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kartomquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about stars.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Never wear coats.