Nuttpadbim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, annoying faun.

Nuttpadbim created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttpadbim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nuttpadbim, he will be mildly annoyed.

Nuttpadbim's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Nuttpadbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt great tits.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.

4. Always wear black.

5. Fast once a month.