Funjamwapcad is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, ruthless parrot.

Funjamwapcad created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Funjamwapcad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Funjamwapcad, she will turn you into a slug.

Funjamwapcad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Funjamwapcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Put Funjamwapcad first in all things.