Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking human.

Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar.

2. Do not dye your hair magenta.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jamabbesscemhivtonfobcar.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Never laugh in the presence of dolphins.