Lighigcap Metflanmet is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, calm beaver.

Lighigcap Metflanmet created the Virgo Supercluster seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lighigcap Metflanmet, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lighigcap Metflanmet, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Lighigcap Metflanmet's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Lighigcap Metflanmet's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. You must never eat corn.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Monkeys are not to be trusted.