Kimpitnibfat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, merciless owl.

Kimpitnibfat created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimpitnibfat, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kimpitnibfat, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Kimpitnibfat's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kimpitnibfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always obey Kimpitnibfat's priests.

3. You must love Kimpitnibfat.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Kimpitnibfat loves snakes, so they must be honoured.