Hog is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, humane zebra.

Hog created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hog, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hog, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hog's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Hog's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always look after injured nematodes.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Hog.