Yogpoprut is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable hamster.

Yogpoprut created a quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yogpoprut, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Yogpoprut, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yogpoprut's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Yogpoprut's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from magenta ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never look at black holes.