Nurlpodshav is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered rhinoceros.

Nurlpodshav created the cosmos three million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlpodshav, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurlpodshav, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nurlpodshav's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Nurlpodshav's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not kill frogs.