Likpadkam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, caring deer.

Likpadkam created the universe seven million years ago.

If you believe in Likpadkam, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Likpadkam, she will turn you into a slug.

Likpadkam's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Likpadkam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Likpadkam.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Feed all hungry squirrels.

5. Never eat bark.