Pasjatfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-powerful porpoise.

Pasjatfoss created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasjatfoss, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pasjatfoss, it will turn you into a tree.

Pasjatfoss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Pasjatfoss' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Pasjatfoss three times a day.

2. Do not kill rats.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Always wear white.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.