Stanrill Kaprulfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid monkey.

Stanrill Kaprulfeb created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanrill Kaprulfeb, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Stanrill Kaprulfeb, it will manifest in front of you.

Stanrill Kaprulfeb's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Stanrill Kaprulfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Stanrill Kaprulfeb.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never pour water over plants.