Cabbotwan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced wyrm.

Cabbotwan created snails seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cabbotwan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cabbotwan, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cabbotwan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cabbotwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Cabbotwan on top of all buildings.

3. Always wear magenta.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Do not speak about limes.