Arnranvogarn is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing goblin.

Arnranvogarn created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Arnranvogarn, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Arnranvogarn, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Arnranvogarn's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Arnranvogarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Arnranvogarn on top of all buildings.