Yakweezass is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, tiresome goblin.

Yakweezass created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakweezass, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yakweezass, she will destroy your home solar system.

Yakweezass' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Yakweezass' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Run away from turquoise dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help sick badgers.