Botnanjan is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, capable whale.

Botnanjan created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Botnanjan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Botnanjan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Botnanjan's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Botnanjan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.