Rakjiphig is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, benevolent pig.

Rakjiphig created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakjiphig, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rakjiphig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rakjiphig's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Rakjiphig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick great tits.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. You must pray to Rakjiphig four times a day.

4. Erect a large gold sculpture of Rakjiphig on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about pigs.