Nartlidtad is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, dishonourable human.

Nartlidtad created a strange quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartlidtad, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nartlidtad, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nartlidtad's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Nartlidtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to cats while wearing cyan shoes.

2. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

3. Nartlidtad loves sharks, so they must be respected.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.