Barnsitbif is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, selfish dove.

Barnsitbif created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnsitbif, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Barnsitbif, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Barnsitbif's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Barnsitbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Hide from turquoise horses for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Eagles are not to be trusted.