Lablikfoss is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, idiotic crane.

Lablikfoss created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lablikfoss, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Lablikfoss, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lablikfoss' most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Lablikfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never wear trousers.