Sandcabxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, sage crocodile.

Sandcabxuck created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandcabxuck, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sandcabxuck, she will jump up and down on your head.

Sandcabxuck's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Sandcabxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to hamsters while wearing magenta stockings.

2. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Do not take Sandcabxuck's name in vain.