Witvilpad is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, temperamental human.

Witvilpad created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witvilpad, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Witvilpad, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Witvilpad's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Witvilpad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never feed melons to whales while wearing purple coats.

3. Do not eat wheat.

4. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

5. Do not commit murder.