Bumtimarf is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-powerful wyrm.

Bumtimarf created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumtimarf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bumtimarf, she will turn you into a snail.

Bumtimarf's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bumtimarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Erect six titanium sculptures of Bumtimarf on top of important buildings.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Retreat if three dolphins approach from the east.

5. Never wear violet scarves.