Fidnillwit Loopkimcipdog is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, all-powerful dove.

Fidnillwit Loopkimcipdog created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidnillwit Loopkimcipdog, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fidnillwit Loopkimcipdog, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fidnillwit Loopkimcipdog's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Fidnillwit Loopkimcipdog's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Do not speak about melons.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.