Cumhuggon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless eagle.

Cumhuggon created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cumhuggon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cumhuggon, it will turn you into a dog.

Cumhuggon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cumhuggon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not eat onions.

4. Cumhuggon loves snails, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about gravity.