Weecemvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless bird.

Weecemvin created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Weecemvin, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Weecemvin, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Weecemvin's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Weecemvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Weecemvin.