Vagbagmab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing unicorn.

Vagbagmab created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagbagmab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Vagbagmab, he will send you a sign.

Vagbagmab's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Vagbagmab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Run away if three whales approach from the south.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Respect your elders.