Ontdodkan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust crab.

Ontdodkan created the Small Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Ontdodkan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ontdodkan, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Ontdodkan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Ontdodkan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never jump near capybaras.

3. Run away if six voles approach from the north.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear gray clothing.