Tiffomfen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust crane.

Tiffomfen created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tiffomfen, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tiffomfen, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tiffomfen's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tiffomfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about ants.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.