Appnigxenbadjapsug is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, generous beaver.

Appnigxenbadjapsug created humankind nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appnigxenbadjapsug, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Appnigxenbadjapsug, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Appnigxenbadjapsug's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Appnigxenbadjapsug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Appnigxenbadjapsug.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.