Hithasbancan is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome eagle.

Hithasbancan created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hithasbancan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hithasbancan, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hithasbancan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Hithasbancan's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never paint your hands white.