Zankemgem is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, pitiless bee.

Zankemgem created matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Zankemgem, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zankemgem, it will turn you into a snail.

Zankemgem's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Zankemgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not speak about lemons.

5. Do not stand on grass.