Armarfgess Fubbarnban is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unfair centipede.

Armarfgess Fubbarnban created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armarfgess Fubbarnban, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Armarfgess Fubbarnban, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Armarfgess Fubbarnban's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Armarfgess Fubbarnban's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Worship no other gods but Armarfgess Fubbarnban.

3. Great tits are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about snakes.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Armarfgess Fubbarnban.