Quagpaswap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, confident snake.

Quagpaswap created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagpaswap, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quagpaswap, he will make you grow a tail.

Quagpaswap's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Quagpaswap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat great tits with great respect.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Worship no other gods but Quagpaswap.