Zenlangat Fun Lagvonzag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish rhinoceros.

Zenlangat Fun Lagvonzag created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenlangat Fun Lagvonzag, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Zenlangat Fun Lagvonzag, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Zenlangat Fun Lagvonzag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Zenlangat Fun Lagvonzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Zenlangat Fun Lagvonzag's priests.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always take life seriously.