Quamomtomin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fast donkey.

Quamomtomin created time and space six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quamomtomin, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quamomtomin, he will turn you into a duck.

Quamomtomin's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Quamomtomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never mention manatees.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Quamomtomin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.