Tommilwon is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, deceitful weasel.

Tommilwon created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tommilwon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tommilwon, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tommilwon's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tommilwon's Holy Commandments

1. Tommilwon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not kill eagles.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Retreat if six grasshopers approach from the north.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.