Lidflowcarlen is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, almighty crane.

Lidflowcarlen created snails six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidflowcarlen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lidflowcarlen, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Lidflowcarlen's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Lidflowcarlen's Holy Commandments

1. Lidflowcarlen loves sharks, so they must be respected.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lidflowcarlen.

4. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

5. Always treat sheep with great respect.